Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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