He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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