my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
