Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
