You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
