There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
