you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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