Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
