You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
