I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
