It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
someone owes me an orgasm
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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