He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
