One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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