Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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