umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
