But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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