Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
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My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
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I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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