She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
