I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
