Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
