Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I have tasted many bathrooms
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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