Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
