the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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