I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
