All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
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I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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