girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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