Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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