when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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