I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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