We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
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Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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