yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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