She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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