How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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