I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where does the pee come out of this thing
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
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