Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
