she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
