It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I don't deserve a penis
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
