I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
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