I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
