I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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