Fuck appropriateness.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
