oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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