He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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