I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
