It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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