How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
