didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Randomize
