I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
