So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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