it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
