I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
