do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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