i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
