We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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