no, he came in my armpit
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
