Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
