I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
