dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
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i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I will pee on everything he values.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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