I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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