ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
