I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
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Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
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it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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