There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get the cat blown out
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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