just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
