he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
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